Vista - Wed 6/29/22

 Went later today and Mom was sleeping.  She woke up and said hi.   I showed her a pretty cat pin - she said she wanted to wear it.  So I put it on her sweater.  We talked about her computer, tv - Downton abbey - and Molly.  I noticed a voicemail flashing so we listened to it and it was Pat.  I asked if we should call her back and she said yes.  So we talked to Pat for a few minutes.  Then I set up her tv for the second season of Downton abbey so it would be playing when she got back to her room after she eats.  

At the dining room she asked if she could hold molly again before I left so I handed molly to her and she gave her lots of love.  Kissed goodbye, said I love you.  

George and Anita were the ones working that I saw.  Anita seemed off and emotional so something was up with her.  Charlene whispered something I couldn’t understand - but she was very mad about something.  

Tomorrow morning we’ll get her computer hooked up.  

Vista - Tue 6/28/22

 Today I brought brownies to the aides and asked Hannah if she’d give mom one at her afternoon snack.  When i went to moms room she was sleeping.  I’d brought the monitor, so moved some things around to set up her computer.  I’d misunderstood Daniel.  He called me earlier to say today & Wed are his days off this week, so he’ll help me hook it up Thursday morning.  

Mom woke while I was moving things around, she said hi.  She continued to doze after I suggested finding something on tv for her to watch.  I searched for Judge Judy because mom used to love watching her.  Found her on YouTube, and the Roku actually accessed it successfully.  Miracles happen.  While straightening things up, I actually found myself laughing out loud and told mom no wonder she used to get a kick out of Judge Judy.  But mom had fallen back asleep.  She woke up and told me she needed an appointment for the humane society to go get Pumpkin. I walked over to her and her eyes were shut while she repeated it.  I said ok I will do that.  She stayed asleep for a while more.  

A little later she got up and said she wanted to go to the dining room.  I found Downton Abbey on the tv, so started that for her for after lunch.  We went down and sat in the dining room for a little while.  Mom wanted me to take her Cat Date Book, so I did.  She pointed to a woman and told me she graduated from high school with her.  We talked about Valerie buying a house near Aunt Honey.  I told her that I made brownies and that she’ll have one at her afternoon snack.  

Vista - Monday 6/27/22

 I’m always happy when I arrive to find mom in the dining room.  She waved to me when I looked in the window while I waited to be let in.  Heather opened the door and I asked if she’s sick of taking temps.  She said yes.  I went and sat down next to mom.  She was sitting with the same lady that she usually sits with.  I’ve never known this lady to talk.  I think her name is Ruth, and mom thinks they went to high school together.  Mom said now I’m happy because you are here.  I noticed right away that although mom had a cardigan sweater on, she was only wearing her black camisole bra under it.  Mom was always self-conscious about being covered up.  She was also self-conscious about her teeth, but she doesn’t wear her dentures anymore, so it seems she’s not aware.  Anyway, I told her I brought her keyboard, imac, and mouse; and tomorrow will bring the monitor.  This was Kenny’s suggestion - we can logon for her and read her email to her and/or look at other things for her.  

Daniel was there so I asked about the internet, he will help me hook it up tomorrow.  Mom told me she wanted me to read the card she got with flowers so I said ok, I’d be right back.  I brought the computer stuff to her room, and did not see flowers.  I picked out a green shirt for her to wear.  I noticed her message light flashing, so I checked it and it was Ray.  So I grabbed the phone for her to talk with him and headed back to the dining room.  I told her I had a shirt for her to wear, and helped her take off her sweater, got the shirt on, then she was covered up.  I called Ray for her and she chatted with him for a few minutes.  He told her he will be visiting her this summer.  

Mom said she wanted me to see a photo of myself, Mark, and Molly that was in her room.  So I asked her if she’d like to show me.  She said yes.  We went to her room.  She opened one of her scrapbooks, and I told her I was hanging up her clothes while she looked.  She is still going through her clothes and leaving them on her loveseat.  Anyway, she showed me the picture. It is a sweet one of Kenny, Mark, Ray and me.  She said she wants it in a frame and hang on her door,  so I took a picture of it - it’s today’s pic. 

We went back to the dining room.  Daniel was there again, and I told him that I may be wrong, but I feel I can smell urine in moms room.  It’s around her bed and especially on one side where her shelf is.  I wondered if it’s her mattress.  I asked if it could be her depends.  I also told him that maybe I’m overreacting.

  He told me not to worry - he will be sure they check everything thoroughly.   And he will let me know.

Mom’s lunch was coming and I told her it was time for me to go.  Gave her a kiss and and I love you and she waved to me as I left.  

Vista - Sunday 6/26/22

Today as I walked into moms room, I saw that the toilet seat needed cleaning.  Mom was at the sink.  I told an aide and she went to get the cleaning supplies to clean it.  I sat down with John and molly in the common area.  Tears came.  Should I look for another place for her that would be watching her closer?  Should I have cleaned it up myself?  More tears.  John quietly told me everything is fine, she is safe, no place is perfect.  There will always be issues that come up.  When the aide told us to go ahead to her room, we found her laying down in bed.  We said hi and I showed her the angel I brought to her. She said she wanted to hold Molly.  So Molly sat with her on her bed.  Then she said to me:

I don’t understand where all my family is.

💔 I took a deep breath and said well you know that Kenny was just here on Tuesday right?  The three of us had lunch together.  She said yes.  Then I said have you talked to Ray?  She said no. I said tomorrow morning we can try to call him again.  She said yes.  Then I said how about Bob?  She said he sent me flowers for Mother’s Day.  I said that’s right and we will try to call him tomorrow too.  Then I said that I bet she had talked to Pat today.  She said yes and smiled.  Then I told her that all her grands and greats are very busy but that hopefully they’ll be able to visit soon.  She smiled.  I noticed her pillow needed a pillow case so as I picked it up, she said:

I don’t understand where my family went.  

💔 Another deep breath.  More fighting tears.  I said that I’m sure Ray and Bob will visit her soon.  Changed the subject to her tv.  Got it on, found an old movie.  John encouraged her to sit in her new chair.  He helped her and she said she liked sitting there.  I reminded her to not touch the tv remotes - the aides will do that for her.  She said yes. 

Stayed a bit longer, told her I’d see her in the morning.  Kissed bye, said I love you.  

Other notes:  we saw Charlene (John’s and my friend who we’ve known forever, is 63, and very sadly has dementia) and she talked just a little with us.  Seemed off from other times we’ve seen her.  

Met a woman named Betty.  Her husband is Bill and is new there.  We talked about how hard this all is.  Showed us her room - which made us realize that she is living there with her husband.  They have a cat.  

Anita explained to me that mom is going through a phase where she is very concerned with her depends and wears extras on top of each other.  Also, Heather told me mom was sitting in her chair yesterday watching tv and she only had on her top and depends underwear.  She thought it was great that she was comfortable.  A reminder to not sweat the small stuff. I said well this is her home now so why not feel comfortable in her underwear.  

Vista - Sat 6/25/22

Today mom was sitting on her bed when I arrived with her pants down.  I immediately asked Anita what was going on.She was in her room approximately 5 minutes, came down the hall and said she was good.  So I went back to her room to once again find her with her pants down.  I asked her if she was ok.  She said yes.  This time I called down the hall to Anita.  Anita and Shefere came.  Shefere told me these were the same clothes mom wore yesterday.  So I said well let’s change your clothes mom. :)

I found a pair of gray shorts and a pink short sleeved shirt for her.  Anita and Shefere helped her change.  Mom has been taking her clothes off the hangers and leaving them on the loveseat so I hung everything back up.  She looked so good after changing.  I told her she looked great. We chit chatted just a few minutes when she asked me if I minded if she laid down because she was tired.  I said of course not.  I helped her lay down and get covered up, kissed her bye, and told her I’d see her later.